SPEAK
UP
I AM GOING TO START TO TELL THIS STORY BY IT'S END.
I SET BOUNDARIES. HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
IT MAKES ME FEEL A LOT SAFER OF WHAT I USED TO!
LEARNING TO DO THIS HAS BEEN AN ENJOYABLE PROCESS, AND NOT A PAIN, SINCE I DECIDED TO TRAIN FOR IT
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THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A FUN A LIBERATING JOURNEY FOR ME
AND YOURS CAN BE TOO!
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(AND NOW... READ ON)
Have you ever stayed up during the night thinking on the reply you did not give to someone who attacked you verbally?
You can learn a way to set clear boundaries and defend yourself against verbal attacks, so next time this happens you know exactly what to do and say.
Be able to give instant and clear feedback about what made you feel uncomfortable.
Learn to identify, handle and deal with harasment, to feel safer in your everyday life.
You can teach others how you need to be treated, and stop verbal abuse.
Have you experienced self-blame because when you did not react as you would have liked to to those situations, but you then realise what you would have wanted to have said some hours or days later? There are many people all over the world who are having the same experience!
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You may know someone who although they do not look particularly assertive, is capable of setting healthy boundaries, managing toxic people and keeping their own personal and emotional space drama-free, as they gracefully get people to understand what is it that they want.
They know how to set those boundaries and avoid a conflict escalating in a way that looks effortless. They seem to have a natural talent for getting their voice heard and responding to conflicting situations and people on the spot.
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This is not just a natural talent in many of us.
You can train to have it.
It’s something anyone can learn.
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VERBAL SELF DEFENCE IS A COLLECTION OF TOOLS AND STRATEGIES THAT HAVE BEEN STUDIED AND PROVED IN ORDER TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM VERBAL ATTACKS AND AGGRESIVE COMMUNICATORS, WHILST KEEPING YOUR EMOTIONAL BALANCE AND NOT LETTING SITUATIONS ESCALATE
Why can it be Hard to Set Boundaries and to Defend Ourselves from Abusive Language?
Since a very early age, a majority of us have been educated in order to fit in with others and make them feel at ease.
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Sometimes it can be through adherence to certain codes of conduct and respect for others, and other times it requires us to step outside our personal boundaries as children and adapting to certain social conventions.
It could have been that we where asked to kiss family members we did not want to. Or that we had our emotions invalidated be beind told we shouldn't cry, or not be angry. We then learnt that some emotions are negative, and we should not express them in order not to offend others.
It is only normal that we find it hard to set up boundaries with others as we grew up. We don't want to hurt others. But sometimes we end up hurting ourselves.
Typically, as children we learnt that we shouldn’t express a full range of emotions in certain social contexts. Being unfamiliar with these contexts, it can sometimes be not easy to manage them when they happen and we can be in a position where we explode or react very angrily in a way that can make aggression escalate and make things even more difficult for us.
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At the other extreme of it, certain verbal attacks can leave us feeling powerless and unable to speak. We would rather withdraw and not deal with them, and sometimes this is not even a choice, but we literally can´t speak out. Or we need so much time to be able to articulate that we lose momentum, and only get our voice back when is too late and the attacker is not present or we have lost the opportunity to reply.
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We have learnt so much to put other people’s feelings ahead of our own needs so that sometimes we don’t even notice what our boundaries are, or how to clearly set them. Ultimately, this will end up affects the feelings of others too.
How This Programme Helps You to Deal with Verbal Attacks and Conflicts and to Handle Unwanted Behaviour :
This course provides you with strategies and practical activities for clarifying your boundaries and getting others to respect them.
The Programme
is centred on the concept on Verbal Self Defence, and integrates expression and embodied practices in a natural way.
This means that
it won't be a collection of tips and tricks to help you 'gain' an argument, but a useful method to re-establish peace wich will become part of your communication style.
YOU WILL LEARN TO USE A NUMBER OF TOOLS THAT WORK AT TWO LEVELS
ONE, AS EFFECTIVE WAY TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT AND THE VERBAL ATTACK
TWO, THERE IS POTENTIAL TO PREVENT SITUATIONS LIKE THOSE HAPENNING MORE OFTEN
We will also work ON ways to deal with our own emotions processing this situations.
We will learn and practice:
Use of Anger
How Anger is very a valid feeling and what we can learn from it
Disagreement
Separate from your position,
and move forward
Microagression
Recognise microaggression, see their impact and practice micro interventions
Balance
Keep it by noticing resistance and navigating your emotion
Backhanded praise
How backhanded compliments work and what can we do bout them
Supervised Practice
Get group exercises, activities and supervised support
Keep Centred
Techniques to keep connected to your body and calm yourself
Response
Group practice responding to attacks with a variety of tools
Attack Awareness
Some attacks are easy to notice, but others are not that obvious.
Unfreeze
Some attacks can leave us paralysed, physically and with nothing in mind to say.
Dealing with Emotions
Going through and processing the emotions that an attack can give us.
Redirecting Attack
Deflect the attack, and at the same time show empathy
When it comes to talking about harassment and verbal abuse, many women will feel comfortable in an all-women space. You can have this course delivered exclusively for groups of women where we will tackle in most specific ways issues that we experience. Although verbal self-defence should never be a way to deal with a threat of physical harm, we will tackle frequently asked questions and deal with situations such as managing unwanted attention and invasive behaviour.
